The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s12e12 - Frances Pingel (35), From Stoke free porn video

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We open with a shot of an old street of old industrial buildings. Two and three-story brick fronted buildings with high windows.

Walking toward us, big beer belly spilling over the front of his jeans and hanging out of the bottom of his West Ham football shirt, it’s our hairy host with the most (experience that is), Dennis ... He’s been an active dog ‘trainer’ on the UK bestiality scene for decades, since long before our little show shot him to infamy.

Trotting along-side him, light on his feet and full of enthusiasm, a young, sleek Doberman Pincher ... Romeo. We’ve seen him a few times on the show before, usually with his father, the legendary Casanova the Third.

Dennis talks direct to camera as he walks, a little out of beath, raising his voice despite being mic’d up.

“‘Ello, and welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... My name’s Dennis Baxter, and this week I’ve brought young Romeo here up to Stoke-on-Trent, an area famous for it’s pottery industry since the 17th century...” He indicates the buildings around him as he continues, “These buildings used to house the city’s once thriving trade, but now most of them are abandoned, serving as warehouse space, or waiting to be converted to apartments ... But enough of the history and geography lessons...” Dennis stops infront of our camera position, “Let’s get down to biology ... Because me and Romeo aren’t here for a historic tour, we’re here to meet a filthy whore...”

He holds a hand up to indicate that we should turn our camera, and we do – turning to face the building another of the old brick and glass buildings. A large, friendly sign above the large double-doors reads, “BURSLEM POTTERY MUSEUM”

We cut to inside the museum – a large open space with rows of tables and shelf units filled with mugs, tea-cups, saucers, tea-pots, plates, bowls, pots, jars, etc. Plaques, photos and maps tell the story of the development of the industry in the area. We don’t care ... All we care about is the one human being standing in the middle of it all.

She’s youngish, and slimmish, with wide shoulders and back, and what looks to be a reasonable bust hidden behind a white blouse; her narrow waist and hips highlighted by a tight black, knee length skirt. The most striking thing about her in the first wider-angle shot, is her red hair – almost orange actually – cut short of her shoulders, parted strongly to show darker roots.

We cut to a close-up as she introduces herself in a strong, slightly husky northern accent. In this close-up we note that she’s pleasant enough looking, with a wide mouth and thin lips, and a narrow nose. Her eyes are dark, and as she talks we can see her teeth are a little crooked, and judging from the way she closes her mouth between words and sentences, she’s evidently quite aware of it.

“Hello ... My name’s Frances Pingel ... I’m 35 years old, and I’m from Burslem, in the Potteries...” She looks a little shy as she summons up the nerve to add, “ ... And ... I want to have sex with a dog!”

We cut to a shot of Frances standing infront of a particularly large display of old pottery, with Dennis opposite her and Romeo standing midway between them, leaning forward with the leash pulling his collar back.

“So ... Tell us a little bit about yourself...” Asks Dennis.

“Well ... What’s to tell?” Begins Frances. “I’m 35 ... I work here, at the Burslem Pottery Museum, part-time, as a guide ... Anything you want to know about pottery, or The Potteries, I’m your woman...” She smiles, then gets back to her story... “I’m married, for, ohhh, 12 years now ... To Erik ... And we’ve got six children...” She smiles again.

“Busy lady ... How old are they?”

“My oldest son is 11, my youngest is 2 ... And I’ve got 4 spaced out between ... Four boys and two girls. And...” She pauses, thinking of the best thing to say, “ ... I’m very proud of all of them ... They’re a great bunch of kids!”

“And, your husband and the kids, what do they think about you wanting to do this?” Checks Dennis, clearly tipping his head toward his Doberman as he says “do this?”

Our guest smirks a little, tipping her head to the side. “Well ... Erik and I have had a few long conversations about it ... At first he wasn’t happy, but now he knows it’s not going away, I think he’s adjusted to the idea ... He’d never admit it, but I think he quite likes the idea of everyone seeing me do it...

“And the kids?”

She blows out a lungful of air, “Oohhh ... We haven’t sat them down and had a big conversation about it ... But ... I’ve talked to the oldest one ... Just talking about mummy being on tv, and he knows the show - I don’t know how, I suppose boys his age talk about that stuff ... And he seemed be more excited about me being on tv, than worried about what I was going to do, and what anyone would say ... He thinks his mates will think it’s cool that I’ve been on ... I’m not so sure, but I can’t resist...”

“I see ... And that’s the big question ... What is it about this doggy here, that you can’t resist ... What makes you want to become a part of the United Kingdom of Zoo?”

Frances looks almost embarrassed to admit this but... “Well ... I wish I had a better story for you ... Something deep and personal, and full of deep meaning ... But ... Well ... It just looks like a lot of fun! I’d seen it on the internet before and I always thought it was dirty, but dirty is fun ... Then your show came on, and I started watching it every week ... I noticed that I was thinking about it from the lady’s point of view – not like I was watching it, but I was trying to figure out ‘why they would do that?’ ... Then after a while I was thinking, ‘why would they do that on camera?’, and then it was, ‘would I do that?’, and ‘if I did it, why would I do it OFF camera?’ ... And then, the last couple of years I’ve just been thinking, ‘I want to do that on camera’...” She shrugs.

“So are you turned on by the dog, or by the infamy of being on tv...” Asks Dennis.

“Oh, I’m turned on by the dog... 100% ... It’s so dirty ... So wrong ... That’s definitely the turn-on ... The idea of doing it on camera, of letting everyone see it ... That just makes it dirtier ... So dog first, tv second ... But I don’t think I’d do it without the tv. That’s what makes it special...”

There’s a pause whilst Dennis decides if he wants to ask her any more questions ... Then, “Right then ... Let’s make it special then ... Get your kit off, and let’s get started!!”

Frances has untucked her blouse almost before Dennis has invited her to strip ... Pulling it up and free, then moving right onto quickly unbuttoning it, letting the front fall open to reveal a white bra and a slim, but not hard belly. The bra is made of thin, stretchy material and is the elasticated, pull over your head type rather than the hook at the back – and the boobs inside look to be hanging heavy against the material. The nipples outlined look big and puffy rather than pointed.

As she unzips the side of her skirt, and shimmies it down over her hips, down her legs to the floor and steps out, she talks – occasionally looking up toward the camera, or Dennis, as she strips.

“It’s funny ... But – as much as I want to do this ... I’m more nervous about showing off my body than I am about having sex with the dog ... Six kids really takes it out of a girl’s body!!”

With her skirt off we can see more signs of that post-baby damage – her belly is small, but the flesh bares a few stretch marks, the same around her upper thighs and buttocks – stretch marks, cellulite ... Not a lot, but enough to be visible.

She runs her hands over her head, stroking her red hair out of her eyes and back over her head, then brings her hands down to her body, adjusting her boobs and then smiling for our camera. She’s getting herself ready... “Now ... Don’t be too disappointed...”

We’ve never been disappointed by any of our guest’s bodies ... Just wanting to be on our show makes a woman beautiful. Of course ... Some are more beautiful than others – but we’d never complain about any!

She takes hold of the elasticated underside of the bra, pulling it down under her boobs, flipping them out, and then pulling the top up over her head. Her boobs sag down, hanging against her chest like two-week-old balloons. Two-week-old balloons with large puffy pink nipples, the whole areola forming a part of the nipple...

A nervous look flashes over her face – she knows that everyone in the country will be looking at her floppy boobs, sitting flat and low against her ribs ... She lets us look for a second, then gives us something else to look at - quickly pulling her panties down to show off her neatly trimmed pussy.

She holds her arms out, almost apologetically, showing off her sagging boobs and trimmed pussy ... She sighs, “That’s it ... That’s all I’ve got...” As if what she has isn’t enough. The boobs are a bit distracting, and the stretch-marks and slightly saggy arse aren’t perfect - but she’ll do for Romeo...

We cut to a wider shot, reminding our audience of the huge collection of fine pottery all around them. The clean museum environment. Giving us another chance to check our guest out from a longer range – naked, a tired-looking body, but still above all else, a willing and excited female...

“Shall we begin?” Asks Dennis as he bends down and unhooks Romeo’s leash.

Frances stands straight, definitely ready - running her hands down the front of her body – patting her soft belly just above her pussy - encouraging the dog to step up to her.

As he approaches, she parts her thighs, half squatting – leaning back and pushing her pussy out to present herself to the beast. Reaching down to stroke her pussy, using her fingers to press on either side of her labia, spreading her lips slightly...

The dog moves closer, sniffing the air, getting the smell of that pussy deep into his nose ... Zeroing in, pushing her narrow snout between her thighs and beginning to lick that cunt. The first contact is like an electric shock bolting through her body, making her jerk and shiver... “OOooohhh ffuuuuhhhkkkk!” She gasps, throwing her head back and flashing the widest smile.

She gasps a quick breath back in – enjoying the buzz of the dog ‘s tongue slopping over her cunt, pushing between her pussy lips, making a groove, rasping over her clit and the fingers that are still holding it open for him.

She lets out another sigh, her head back– letting her legs bend a little more, dropping into a full squad and letting the dog lick a little deeper ... Then dropping onto her soft arse to the polished concrete floor, and laying back, her knees in the air, thighs wide ... The dog digging into her like a feed-bag.

She lays back and lets him lick – the fingers of one hand still opening her pussy, the other hand over his narrow skull, fingers rubbing the top of his head ... Arching her back and continually re-spreading her thighs, trying to give him another centimetre of access. Moaning as he makes a meal of her muff.

Her chest rising and falling, floppy tits spread wide across her ribcage. Big puffy nipples hard, distorting the end of her boobs.

Every few seconds the dog stops licking, and she has to get him back to the job by slapping her crotch or inner thigh ... He’s tempted back a few times before he loses interest – attracted by her gasps and moans when he’s licking – stumbling away from the snatch, stepping up over her body – bringing his face level with hers, and beginning to lick her face ... Especially her open mouth (she hasn’t finished gasping from the pussy licking).

The new approach surprises her – and she reacts by pushing him back and rolling away from him, bringing herself upright ... The dog comes back at her, still trying to lick her face – playfully ... And now that she’s in control again, she leans forward and lets him slap another couple of kisses on her pursed lips.

He looks happy – and so does she. A playful couple ready to have fun together. She looks a lot happier now than she did before they began.

She leans forward after him, mashing her floppy tits up against his powerful flank. Reaching around and over him to stroke him and giving us an excited smile. Running her hands down his sides, and over his thighs. Working one hand around behind him and between his hindlegs to gently cup his big balls, then slipping forward onto his sheath.

Romeo parts his hindlegs a little, giving her easier access to his equipment – and she takes advantage of it. Rubbing and fondling him. Smiling and licking her lips in anticipation.

Down under the dog’s belly, we get a nice shot of her hand rubbing over his sheath, drawing it back to reveal the shiny pink tip of the cock within - it’s looking big enough to ‘use’ now, and she knows it ... But she’s not ready to fuck yet ... She has another use in mind for the cock...

We cut to a close-up shot as she shuffles her head under his belly, bringing her face-to-face with that oversized doggy dick. She licks her lips, clearly hungry for this meat ... Then raises her face toward it until the wet tip is up against her lips.

She holds herself there for a moment, letting the pre-cum run from his dick to her lips, and then parts those lips and pokes her tongue out – running it over the head of the dog’s cock, making circles around the tip of the meat, flicking over the end, pursing her lips to kiss the tip ... Opening her mouth a little more to let the jism trickle inside. Tasting it, coughing – turning her head to the side and spitting it out, then turning back to the cock and beginning to lick it again...

She moves her head around, letting the head of the cock rub over her lips, her chin, and her cheeks ... Mouth opening, tongue slipping out ... Running the cock over it, sliding it back and then slotting it into her mouth, closing her lips around it, and slowly sucking her cheeks in around it.

She bobs her head a little under his belly, sucking his shaft into her mouth as she moves – then letting it slide out as she backs off ... Making three or four strokes, then pausing – breathing through her nose, then swallowing carefully, letting the spunk run down her throat...

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from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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  • 12
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

2 years ago
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  • 8
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

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