The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)S14E11 - Joan Burridge (43), From Leicester free porn video

This is a FigCaption - special HTML5 tag for Image (like short description, you can remove it)

We begin this week’s show with a tracking shot of a row of old shops on a wide street that’s strangely lacking traffic. Approximately half of the shops are closed, either boarded up or shuttered, with the names removed from the frontage. ‘FOR LEASE’ signs hang from most of the vacant stores.

As we move along the street, we notice that the shutters of one of the vacant shop-fronts are being wound up – and a couple of workmen are standing by ready to work on the window...

A big caption appears, filling almost the whole screen, “LEICESTER, ENGLAND.”

The caption fades, then we close in on that store, and notice a woman standing inside, as if she’s on display ... We close in until we can see that this is our host...

Obviously fake, round boobs, trying to escape from the front of ultra-tight red PVC jacket & mini-skirt combination. Her figure is dynamite – very slim, very smooth, with those fake boobs the obvious stand-out feature ... Up top, its long wavey brunette hair down to her shoulders, framing an attractive, youthful face with a little too much make-up.

She introduces herself in a high-pitched, excitable tone ... The second she starts speaking, she starts smiling, and deep dimples appear in her cheeks – and she suddenly looks under-age despite being close to 40.

“Hello, and welcome to the ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ – my name is Renae Russell, and my little friend here is Logan...” She smirks when she says ‘little’, and we cut away from her, to the rear of the vacant shop, to see a large blue-grey dog sniffing around ... Certainly not ‘little’ ... Then we’re back to Renae’s intro, “ ... And this week we’re in Leicester, in the midlands, to meet a lady who really likes to show off...”

We cut to the rear of the store – watching as a sexy older lady walks through in a tight jacket and skirt combo (unlike Renae’s suit, it’s regular black fabric rather than shiny red PVC). She’s got the classic clipboard and spectacles look – as if she’s trying a little too hard to look like a real estate agent ... If we didn’t know that our show was for real, we’d suspect this was a set-up.

She introduces herself in voice-over as she approaches Renae in the window at the front of the store. Her accent is clean and sharp, with the tone of someone who talks for a living, “Hi ... I’m Joan Burridge ... I’m 43, and I’ve been a commercial real estate manager for over twenty years ... And for the whole time I’ve been doing this job, I’ve been fantasizing about performing some kind of sex show in the window of one of my shops...” She pauses... “And today’s the day!”

We cut to a shot of Joan standing opposite Renae in the front of the store with the workmen applying a thin plastic film to the windows behind them. We occasionally cut to the exterior – watching the workmen applying the film, with the view of our two women being slowly obscured.

“Hello Joan ... Can I just say, you look fantastic...” Notes Renae, her voice rising a tone, clearly excited by this woman’s presence. Maybe it’s the way she looks, but it’s also her confident stride and shoulder’s back stance. Maybe it’s just the fact that she looks so good for her age. Not beautiful, but striking, healthy, and sexual.

“Thank you...” Responds our guest, offering up a big friendly smile, like she really appreciates the compliment.

“So ... Can you tell us why we’re here today...?” Asks Renae ... And we’re into this week’s ‘excuse’ segment as Joan monologues her story...

“I’ve always been turned on by having sex in the properties I manage ... I’ve brought boyfriends to vacant shops and factories, I’ve had sex with tenants, with landlords ... I’ve brought assistants along and insisted that they pleasure me...”

“As I’ve got older and more experienced, I’ve looked for more and more exciting things to do ... Something really shocking I could do in one of my properties ... Something spectacular ... And then the owners of this shop put in their notice...”

“And what’s special about ‘this’ shop?” Asks Renae with a quizzical little giggle.

Joan leans in, as if sharing a secret, and confirms that, “It was a pet store ... They used to have puppies, right in the window here ... And I thought, if they had puppies in the window, I could have a dog in the window...” She smiles – a smile that says “I-know-I’m-a-bad-girl”...

Renae interrupts, leaning in closer to her guest, “ ... Or a dog could have you in the window...”

Both ladies nod ... They’re very close now, almost face to face ... Taunting our viewers – who still hang out for girl-on-girl action as much as the bestial acts we usually focus on.

Renae breaks the tension, “Did you ever kiss a girl in one of your shops?”

Joan smiles, “Yes ... And I thought you’d never ask...” – then leans forward and kisses her host, lips on lips, mouths opening, tongues pushing out and against each other ... Both women smiling as they share saliva...

After a few seconds they break off their quiet kiss ... Then Joan growls, “Not that I’m averse to kissing a beautiful woman like yourself ... But ... I came here to fuck your dog! Not you ... So, bring on the beast!”

We cut to a shot of Logan, sniffing around at the back of the shop, raising his head as he hears his owner calling for him. Then padding across the room toward the small gathering in the window, tail wagging.

The crew move into position as the dog approaches, and our guest bends forward to welcome him, reaching out with both hands, one on either side of his head – then lowering her face toward him, pouting – making kissing sounds, “Come on ... Just like mummy...” – and letting him slop his big tongue over her closed mouth. She takes a few licks then lets her mouth open, and allows him to lick inside a couple of times, before straightening up as he twists away. She licks her lips as if tasting and savouring the dog’s ‘kiss’ ... Then turns to Renae with a smile, commenting, “Mmmmm ... Nice...”

“Better than me?” Renae asks.

Joan steps toward her host again, and Renae leans in for another kiss – the two of them sharing another wet one ... For the sake of comparison, of course ... And when they break off, Joan raises her hands with a smile and says, “Too close to call...”

As she smiles we fade through to an external shot of the shop – seeing the front window now completely covered with the silver film – turned into a two-way mirror. From the inside, we can see out, but from the outside all activities inside the shop are obscured.

We hear Renae narrating over the top of the shot, “Due to public indecency laws, we had to obscure the public’s view of the window, but so far as our guest is concerned, it’s business as usual...”

Back inside the shop, where we can see our guest – completely naked – standing infront of the window ... Thinking that she is showing herself off to the world outside ... Her body is slim, her tits firm, but small. Narrow waste, tanned skin, stubble-short black pussy ... Not so much as a hint of nerves, she looks every inch the special thing she thinks she is. Unusually for an older woman – she looks better with her clothes off ... And she looked pretty good with them on!

The street outside, with passing pedestrians completely unaware of the naked woman right infront of them.

She looks around from the camera, to the crew, to the dog ... Then back to the camera – posing the whole time, her back to the window, keeping a straight face, a ‘smouldering’ look ... She was made for this kind of showing off.

We note Renae rubbing the dog’s neck, then leaning forward and slapping his behind, sending him off into action with a quiet, “Go get that slut!”

Joan drops to her knees on the dirty floor as he approaches – shuffling around to sit back on her bum, leaning back on her hands - her knees up in the air and her thighs wide apart – shaven pussy exposed. She reaches down and slaps the inside of her smooth thighs.

The big blue/grey dog moves in closer, walking up between her spread legs ... Lowering his head and stuffing his snout up into her crotch to start licking ... She lets out a long, happy gasp – and lets her arms bend, falling back onto her elbows. She spreads her thighs wider, offering up more of her pussy as the dog slops his big tongue all over her snatch.

Leaning back, she lets her head drop down backwards, relaxing and just savouring the soft hardness of the tongue on her most sensitive spot ... Slipping over her pussy lips, splitting them and running up between them, sliding inside ... She gasps as he licks ... We can clearly hear his tongue, wet and messy, flopping in and out of his mouth and her pussy...

He licks at her hungrily, rolling his head around one way and the other as he digs deep. His long, warm tongue slotting between her pussy lips, sliding through the channel, dipping inside, then flipping out ... Our real estate agent is breathing harder and harder, barely able to break her eye-lock on him as he takes her to fantastic places with that magical talent of his...

We cut to a wider angle, taking in her full tanned glory ... Her body already beginning to shine with sweat, and shiver with delight, as he stands between her slim thighs, his head dropped to her cunt, and continues to lick ... The wet noise combining with her moans to make an amazing soundtrack. Behind her, Renae has popped open the front of her PVC jacket and is playing with her nipples as she watches her dog with our guest.

But we’re focussed on the doggy action, rather than our gorgeous host ... And the longer it goes, the more she relaxes – laying back, finally giving up her line-of-sight as she lets her head drop to the dusty floor ... Bringing her hands up to her boobs and squeezing/teasing them as she arches her back and drowns in the pleasure of doggy-lingus!

“That looks like fun...” Comments Renae, adding words to the soundtrack of sloppy licks and ragged breathing. We’re not sure if she means it looks fun for the dog, or for the guest, but we’re pretty sure she’d swap places with either of them!

Joan barely reacts to her, rolling her back, twisting her pelvis, spreading her thighs to expose herself as much as possible, laying back against her shoulders ... Sighing as the dog continues driving her toward her debut dogasm ... Her thighs spreading and then tensing, her knees rising then falling again ... Her chest rising and falling...

She begins to shiver ... And the longer he licks, the more moves ... Her breathing speeding up – her mouth opening ... Head back, eyes closing ... Now flat on her back, bringing her hands to her boobs, running her long fingernails over her nipples, tickling them as she arches her back ... And then breaking into a wide, open-mouthed, smile, turning her head from side to side...

“OH yeah!” Exclaims our host in her excited squealy voice, “You go girl!” She’s pinching her nipples and squeezing her fake tits together as she adds, “Cum on that big, wet, doggy tongue!”

Joan doesn’t need the encouragement – she’s cumming hard as the dog continues to lick on for a few more seconds ... She takes as much as she can stand, then pulls her legs up, knees and thighs coming together as she sits up, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face behind them as she blocks the beast out so she can recover... “Ohhhh, no more ... No moreeee!” She gasps, out of breath and highly satisfied...

Logan moves around, trying to get his snout back down between her thighs, or under them – and she wriggles around, making sure she’s covered...

“Ohh...” Squeals Renae, “He’s so horny now ... If you play with him he’ll get hard so faaaast!”

We cut to a shot of Joan, repositioned on her back, under the dog, looking up at his belly – licking her lips and reaching up toward his heavy sheath...

The dog is well trained, and knows exactly when to stand as still as possible ... And right now he’s turned into a statue – letting the human do whatever she wants to...

She runs her hand over his heavy sheath, then pushes back between his hindlegs, cupping and gently rubbing his big balls... “MMmmmmmm” she moans, “So big and heavy ... I’ll help you with thaaaat...”

In the background of the shot - we can see out of the store window, into the street, which is beginning to get busier as rush hour approaches ... Cars more than pedestrians, but the occasional figure is walking by ... One woman turns to look as she passes, but keeps moving – because the mirrored film means she can’t see what we can...

In the foreground, our guest continues to cup Logan’s sack and then rub her hand under his sheath, as the tip of his cock begins to show ... That little red-rocket turning very quickly into a very usable hunk of meat...

She’s in the perfect position to see it ... And she doesn’t waste any time – lifting her upper body, moving forward toward him, raising her face to his belly, turning her head a little to make sure we can see as she wraps her mouth around the end of that ugly canine cock...

“OOOhhhhh yeeeaaahhh!” Moans our host, off camera. “Suck that cock! Yeah ... You dirty sluuuuut!”

Joan eyes close as she moans, clearly loving her first taste of dogmeat, or perhaps just loving the idea that she’s sucking it, or that she’s got a camera crew recording this for broadcast – and that sexy porno bitch talking dirty to her ... Whatever it is, it’s working like magic on her, because the moans continue as she sucks ... Only stopping when she pulls her head back and exclaims, “OOohhh God, that’s sooo fucking sexy!”

We don’t have a chance to argue with her – not that we could – before she pushes forward and sucks the tool back into her mouth ... Sucking it in and out as she moves her head back and forth, making sure her hair isn’t blocking our shot – then pull it out again, leaving her mouth open so we can see the head of the almost fully erect dick resting on her tongue...

We cut to a moment later, Joan repositioning herself on her hands and knees, her firm little tits hanging down and her slim belly obeying gravity as all but washboard stomachs do in this position ... Smooth thighs and toned arms supporting her ... Arching her back down toward the floor, her arse pushed backwards, trimmed pussy exposed between smooth thighs...

Renae has moved closer, to her side, the front of her jacket still open, flashing occasional views of her fake bolt-on tits as she strokes her guest’s back and slaps her arse, calling her dog in... “Come on, boy...”

Logan takes his direction like a pro – moving quickly up behind the real estate agent, pushing up against her rear, his front paws lifting up – over her tight behind – his body following, hindlegs pushing him forward over her ... His front paws slipping down her sides and his chest slipping onto her back – his belly wrapping around her behind – and his cock lining up with her pussy...

Same as The United Kingdom of Zoo (A fake BBC documentary series)
S14E11 - Joan Burridge (43), from Leicester Videos

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e2 Cara

Series 4, Episode 2: Cara We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a car park outside a shopping mall – cars everywhere, shoppers bringing their goods back to their cars ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Then we’re on a quiet...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 34
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e11 Melissa

Series 4, Episode 11: MELISSA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on a busy street in an old English city - not a lot of food traffic, but plenty of cars...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 55
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e20 Monika Matysik 23 Martyna Matysik 24

Series 5, Episode 20: Monika (23) and Martyna Matysik (24) sisters from Walsall, originally Poznan. We open on an ultra-long-shot ... Our animated image going a step further back to show the whole of the planet ... And then an over-the-top burst of Rule Britannia sounding out over the top as the Earth turns and the United Kingdom comes into focus below us ... Then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, with the music playing all the way down ... Heading toward the middle of the country...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 33
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e1 Angelina Dubravka 19 doggy blowbang

With everything that’s been going on in the world in 2020, we at the United Kingdom of Zoo decided that something special was needed to end the year. Rather than a 20 episode series, we decided to really go for it with a marathon 50 episode series. One girl can’t handle that kind of schedule – so we decided to enlist a group of our former guests to share hosting duties on the series ... We hope you enjoy this special opening episode, and the rest of the series, and we trust you will enjoy our...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 39
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess7e20 Page 3 Horse special

Series 7, Episode 20: Page 3 Special We open with a montage: Still images of Page 3 girls - smiling, topless models with amazing bodies; clips of these same models at show-bizz functions and public appearances; cover shots of adult magazines with those same girls highlighted; and more ‘Page 3’ shots – blondes, brunettes, black girls, white girls, fake boobs, real boobs (but always big boobs). These aren’t the Page 3 superstars – not a Sam Fox, Linda Lusardi or Maria Whittaker of the 80s –...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 35
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e5 Carrie

Series 4, Episode 5: Carrie We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And now we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e6 Samantha

Series 4, Episode 6: SAMANTHA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back and forth ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re looking at the large entrance gates of a zoo ... Large letters spell out ‘DUDLEY ZOO’. A small line...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 33
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS5e11 Hannah Smith

Series 5, Episode 11: Hannah Smith (21) – Newcastle We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then our cartoon version of Charley, our top heavy host appears, floating with us for a second before she waves for us to follow her as she dives down toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, a beach,...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E14 XXXmas Day Special

We watch a mini-montage of Ye olde English town, with snow falling slowly, and Christmas shoppers hurrying back to their cars with bags full of gifts – and hear traditional Christmas music and sleighbells... Then fade through to our studio, which has been set up to look like a fairly unconvincing Santa’s Grotto – with a couple of comfortable couches arranged infront of a large (fake) fireplace, and an over decorated Christmas tree, which is stacked with presents. On one couch – two sex...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 54
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e12 Cate Morado 36

We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. From here we race through animated streets, passing traditional London Black Cabs and red Double Decker buses until we hit a wide street of three-story buildings – shopfronts downstairs, apartments...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 45
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e2 Raquel Ferdinand 33

We’re looking at the pretty but increasingly fake features of our hostess – Charley Ozvik. Her nose a little too slim and pointy, her jaw too defined, her teeth too perfect. There’s not a line on her face and when she talks her face barely moves. It’s a little like watching a Thunderbird puppet talking. A very sexy Thunderbird puppet! She’s wearing a tight blouse, the top few buttons undone to show off plenty of her fake cleavage and fragments of a huge tattoo that’s across her chest....

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e3 Robyn

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... A sign by the road indicates that this is the A127, and that the next turn-off is to...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 34
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14 E09 Vanessa Moore 34 from Manchester with Jenna

We begin this week’s show with a shot of a collection of impressive, modern tower blocks. Each has a different style, format, and color. From browns, to greys, to whites. Lots of windows and lots of balconies. We move along a new, black-topped road, toward the towers, noting the lack of old buildings, and the lack of greenery (a few freshly planted trees and a flower bed, nothing more). There’s an ornamental sculpture up ahead at the side of the road – it looks like a stack of cubes twisted...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 45
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e21 The Portsmouth Womens Institute

Series 6, Episode 20 The Portsmouth Women’s Institute (ages 50-60), from Portsmouth We open with a very simple and idyllic establishing shot of the front of an unobtrusive building with a little square of grass around it. A sign reads, “PORTSMOUTH WOMEN’S INSTITUTE” A small car park is half filled with sensible middle-class cars a Volvo, an Audi, a nice VW, etc. Trees rustle as the wind blows through them. Very safe violin music plays on the soundtrack and then The needle on the record...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 39
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e12 Linda

Series 4, Episode 12: LINDA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re on a country road, there’s a building 50 yards away in the distance – high fences all...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e14 Lauren

Series 4, Episode 14: LAUREN We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new - we’re in a semi-industrial, run down old part of town. Clearly an area that’s seen better days. Half of the factory units/shops around here are locked up with ‘TO LET’ signs stating, ‘LOW RENT’. Despite being half closed, there’s a good number of vans driving...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 51
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e19 Tiffany Black 36

Series 5, Episode 19 - Tiffany Black (36) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – just long enough to notice that this week the shot includes lines of longitude and latitude ... Then we fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the country, staying on the zero-degree line of latitude ... Dropping toward the south, toward the huge urban spread of London ... Staying on that imaginary line – right into...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 34
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e9 Tara Carver

Series 5, Episode 9: Tara Carver (59) – Edinburgh We open with our standard sequence – a high altitude image of the United Kingdom. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy caricature of our host, Charley, floating infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping toward the ground, heading in...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 29
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e1 Elizabeth

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 31
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e17 Penelope

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 18: Penelope” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 18: PENELOPE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something familiar... A narrow single car width country road, leading through an area of barren, rolling, grassy hills. Dry stone walls rise about 3 feet on either side of the narrow road. A few cows...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 35
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E15 Marnie Coburn 43 from Blackburn

We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 33
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 35
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 39
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e15 Kimberly

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 14: Kimberly” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 14: KIMBERLY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old-fashioned English resort town ... Finally, we’re in a quiet, narrow residential street, late at night, outside a traditional English pub. White walls and black...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e18 Rachael

Series 4, Episode 18: RACHAEL We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... A large sewage treatment plant. A mini montage of big circular pools of household waste, being chewed up and cleaned by large rotating mechanical arms ... It looks like it smells terrible. The occasional member of staff, checking equipment, wearing full overalls...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 34
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 32
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 31
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 32
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 34
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 31
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 37
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 39
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 39
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 37
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 48
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 57
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 35
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 38
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 46
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 43
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 31
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 29
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 32
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 64
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 35
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 32
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 36
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 29
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 26
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 44
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

Porn Trends