The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)S13E04: Janette Stone (40), From Harrogate, With Dennis free porn video

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We begin this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large and impressive looking Victorian building. Two stories high, very wide, with tall rectangular windows spaced evenly in the sandstone walls along both floors. There’s something about it that screams ‘school’ even before we see the big sign by the entrance gate that reads, “HARROGATE GRAMMAR SCHOOL – WELCOME”.

We turn away from the front of the building and look up the street where we can see the familiar figure of today’s host approaching. It’s the fat, hairy, West Ham shirt-wearing Cockney geezer himself ... Huffing and puffing along the street toward us – and this week, unlike on previous shows, he’s being pulled along by not one, but two, Doberman dogs. One black and tan, the other almost pure black.

Even with his bulk Dennis is leaning back a little against them, making sure he controls the pace. We cut to a close-up of him as he’s walking, talking in a slightly out of breath way, “Hello, and welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m Dennis Baxter, and this week I’ve brought my boys up norf to ‘arrogate in Yorkshire, to teach a teacher a few lessons!”

He nods toward the school, and we spin round to look at the building again, closing in on one of the upper story windows ... Mixing through to...

A slightly hard-faced, borderline masculine blonde – wearing a skirt and white blouse. Her body is tall and slim, and whilst she’s not un-attractive, she won’t be gracing any magazine covers.

Her blouse is tucked into the skirt, pulled tight to show that she has a flat stomach and a tight arse, as well as making the best of her chest – which is certainly not flat, just not large.

She’s talking to her class of Year 11 teenagers as she points out elements of today’s lesson on her white-board. She’s not exactly the kind of teacher that most of the boys will focus their fantasies on, but there’s something about her manner that oozes a polite sexuality – enough to keep the more sexually aware kids on their toes – she’s sending the signals out with her movements, her eyes, her lips, as she speaks. You get the impression that she’d definitely be sexually available if one of the kids had the nerve to try.

We can’t hear the lesson she’s giving, because we’re listening to her introduction in voice-over. A polite, north Yorkshire accent, the edges clipped off by over a decade of teaching.

“Hello ... My name is Janette Stone, and I’m a 40-year-old history teacher from Harrogate.”

We watch as she continues to teach, listening to her story, which seems to fit right in with the outwardly respectable teacher we’re looking at...

“I’ve been married for ten years, and my husband and I have what would commonly be regarded as an adventurous sex-life ... We decided very early on that if we only ever had sex with each other, we’d get bored pretty quickly, so he’s been watching me fuck other men for most of our marriage. He likes to take photos and videos too ... We’ve got a huge collection – a different man every weekend...”

In the classroom, we watch as Janette clicks the mouse on her laptop and a documentary about the Roman occupation of England is projected onto the whiteboard for the students to watch, on the screen we can see a subfolder open (not projected onto the screen for the class to see) containing hundreds of files with names like “Clive – facefuck” and “Jake – anal pounding” and “Unknown – creampie” – the mouse hovering over one of them, the option to stream to ‘Classroom’ highlighted, ready to be clicked...

Janette continues, “I sometimes think about ‘accidently’ putting one of them in the projector and letting the whole class watch me sucking a cock or being pounded from behind...”

We pause on her teaching for a few more seconds as she continues her lesson – her introduction continuing in voice-over as she bends forward infront of students, making sure her blouse hangs down to tempt them to look at her tits. “The really tantalizing thought is of doing something really rude, and doing it on television where everyone can see it – including my students ... And the idea of doing something with a dog, well, that just drives me wild. Partly for the bestiality itself, and partly for the idea of my students, their parents, and my fellow teachers all watching...”

The school bell rings, and all the kids begin to charge out...

We cut to outside the school again, with Janette standing opposite Dennis and the dogs ... She looks confident, clearly itching to get started – looking from dog to dog throughout the interview. The car park is almost empty, and the sun is beginning to go down – we had to wait until the students, parents and most of the staff were gone before filming the interview.

Dennis chats in his usual, gruff but relaxed style. Comfortable and confident talking to women – he’s seen so many of them fuck his dogs that nothing surprises him anymore (that’s not to say he finds it boring, the smile confirms that he loves every minute of this).

“Based on your application – it seems that the dog isn’t the most important part of this fantasy of yours...”

She half smiles, and nods, then confirms, “No ... Well, not exactly ... I mean, the dog is very important to the fantasy – but the actual thrill is the idea of everyone watching – and the idea of continuing my daily life after I’ve done it ... Knowing my kids will know what kind of a slut I am, and that their parents will hate me ... It’s just a deviant’s dream!”

“And do you spend a lot of time thinking about it?” Checks our host.

She nods again, “I spend far too much time thinking about it ... I love fantasy almost as much as reality ... And sometimes I think that fantasy is going to spill over into reality, and I’m going to say something I shouldn’t in class, when I’m distracted ... I think I might be teaching about the civil war, or the industrial revolution, and I’ll just start talking about gangbangs or dildos.”

The idea of talking about sex to my students is a real turn-on ... On a Monday morning I’ve often thought about asking them what they watched last night – hoping one of them will mention UK of Zoo so I can ask if they like that ... Or I’ve thought about setting them an essay, “Describe your sexual fantasy”, or “What did you wank about last night?” If I was an English teacher I could probably justify it, hahaha...”

“Do you think the kids fantasize about you?” Checks Dennis.

“I don’t know about think ... But hope, yes ... I hope they do. That would be a huge turn-on for me ... I’ve had the fantasy of sleeping with one of my students ... I think, if they were honest, most teachers have thought about it ... They’re all there in their prime – all that youthful energy ... So, coming on the show and doing this ... They’re guaranteed to talk about it. Even if it’s being cheeky or trying to insult me ... But, you know, if it gets the conversation started!! I’ll try anything once...” She looks down at the two dogs, then corrects herself. “Or twice!”

“Indeed ... Well – you’ve clearly thought this through ... So I think we should retire to somewhere a little more private so you can get to know my boys a bit better – and we can make your dirty dreams come true!”

Janette smiles and confirms, “Oh yes, I’d like that...” – and we fade out on her as she looks right into camera and pouts a little.

We fade back in in the lounge-room of a nice, but not too fancy, residence. A couple of comfortable couches with a nice deep-pile rug between them, and a large screen tv at the end of the room. Casanova is sitting on one of the couches, leaning sideways against the back. Romeo is standing on the other, look back across the room with his tail wagging. He’s getting the hang of the cameras now and knows what’s about to happen.

Janette is in the doorway of the room, kissing a man whose face is blurred out. It’s her husband, and for reasons only known to him he requested that he remained anonymous even though his wife was appearing under her own name without any kind of a mask.

She’s already skirt-less, her blouse hanging down over her bottom and crotch, and he’s pinching her nipples through the front of her blouse as he whispers encouragement to her. We catch his final words, “Go be the best slut you can be!” – and she breaks off the kiss and walks into the middle of the room, unbuttoning and opening the front of her blouse – peeling it off to show off her slim body and small boobs (no bra and just the briefest pair of panties). She’s in decent shape for a thirty-something – nothing spectacular but certainly not a turn-off as she stands between the two couches ... Her near naked body getting the dog’s full attention.

“What does he think of this?” Checks Dennis, nodding toward her blurred partner in the doorway.

“Oh, he loves it ... He’s seen me fuck so many blokes ... He can’t wait to see something different!”

We look over to the still blurred husband who flashes us a thumbs up. Even without his face, we can tell he’s excited and happy just by his body-language.

We cut to a shot of Janette, in the middle of the room, between the couches – naked save for her panties – our guest reaches out to either side, stretching her hands to the dog’s snouts, letting them sniff and lick at her fingers...

She looks from dog to dog, a dirty smile crossing her face – she’s here, and she’s doing this ... And that clearly turns her on...

She makes her first big decision, then leans toward Casanova – pouting as she offers him her jaw – which he begins to lick with the same enthusiasm he had for her fingers. Even though his head is in the way, we can tell she’s smiling as he slops his tongue over her mouth. She’s opening up, letting his tongue slop over her lips and inside ... Pushing her tongue out to meet his...

Behind her, Romeo moves forward and jumps off the other couch so he can join in with the action ... Coming in hard and fast, full of enthusiasm, bringing his snout up infront of her face, alongside his father’s snout, and joining in with the licking. His tongue dragging across her cheeks, her jaw, and over the side of Casanova’s snout and tongue ... Whenever Casanova moves off to explore the other side of her face, Romeo slips it and licks at her face...

When the face licking stops, after less than a minute of wet, sexy action, our guest’s face is glistening with doggy saliva ... Her lipstick smeared ... And she’s breathing hard – partly from the excitement, and partly because she literally can’t breathe with two dogs taking turns to slop their tongues into her mouth!

The dogs are still interested, but for the moment she’s in control – pushing Romeo away, then twisting to push his father back as well ... Both dogs skip and push back, excited by the play...

Looking up at our camera, then over toward Dennis, the blonde confirms, “I’m ready to go for it – right now...”

“Don’t wait for permission, girl ... Let them at it...!” Confirms Dennis.

Our guest smiles again as she pushes the dogs away a second time, playfully taunting them as she shuffles her panties down her thighs ... She’s constantly interrupted by the boys trying to mount her or sniff at her pussy; getting a paw on her shoulder, front legs around her middle, or a few licks between her thighs, before she is able to push them off, one handed, whilst the other pulls on those panties ... Raising one knee, then the other, as she removes them...

Then, with another quick, excited smile toward our camera, she repositions, leaning forward onto her hands, taking up the classic doggy position #1 – two hands, two knees, her slim body parallel with the floor, her arse presented at a nice height for the dogs ... No longer pushing them away...

Casanova, the experienced old beast, is the first into position behind her, rising up over her behind, his big paws scraping over her back and sides as he pulls himself up against her back – his narrow chest settling down against her spine, his soft belly wrapping around her arse, pulling his sheath up behind her pussy ... She lets out a little yelp – more excited than surprised... “OOhhh ... It’s happening...”

And then the dog’s paws are around her middle, and he’s pumping hard against her from behind, the pointed pink tip of his cock poking out of the furry sheath, stabbing up against her pussy – looking for a way in...

As he bumps up against her, she shuffles forward, allowing her knees to spread just a little, arching her back a degree – just enough to ease her snatch into the right position for... “AAAaaaahhhHHHH ... He’s fucking me ... He’s fucking me!!”

And boy is he fucking her – hard and fast. We cut down to our classic close-up shot – watching his cock drill into her ... A frenzy of rough sex. Making her gasp and squeal as he pounds into her – with intense, short strokes ... Intense, but brief ... Because after less than 20 seconds of action, he pulls back, and his cock pops out of her, splashing watery doggy semen onto the floor between her legs...

We cut to a wider angle and watch the fuck again – it’s brief, so we watch the whole thing from this position ... The gripping, the fucking, the intensity of it ... Then the scrabbling front paws over her back, as he pulls back and dismounts...

The way he steps to the side, his hips still bucking a big fat cock at the air under his belly, it looks almost like he’s making way for his boy...

And his boy takes his cue ... Replacing his sire on the bitch’s back – mounting her quickly, but in a rougher way than his father did ... Coming slightly from the side, getting his paws around her and pulling close, but pumping his cock outside her thigh – trying a couple of times before realizing he’s not lined up ... Shuffling to the side ... Janette lifts one hand to reach back and push his rear end around behind her – then quickly snapping her hand back to the floor as he lurches forward against her behind ... Pushing up close – holding tight, and beginning to pump at her pussy ... Finding his target almost immediately and making our whore toss her head back and gasp again as she’s fucked by her second dog in a minute...

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We start this week’s show, as we start every show, with a shot of the UK of Zoo map of the British Isles with all its sparkling little lights ... And then a new light – brighter and larger, indicating this week’s location – down south, way south - to the south-east of London, sharpening down to a point over (as the caption tells us) - “MAIDSTONE”. Then we dive into the map and cut through to an establishing shot of a boring housing estate. Low green hedgerows, little green lawns, grey brick...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

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